Pattie

Yay for my mommy.

*cough*  Er...no, I'm not dead.  I'm sure it seems like it, though.

Happy birthday Jon! Congratulations, we're both old now. :)

Excerpt from work:

Satan Woman gets off her carousel horse before the ride stops.  Way before.  I jump on to tell her to sit back down (nicely) and she nods, but ignores my request.  I ask again.  She sarcastically nods and stays standing.  I think, fuck it, and jump off.  As I do, I hear "Jesus, I thought I took my job seriously".  Hackles up, I look around and she's rolling her eyes.  Lovely.  So, I wait until she gets back on with her little kid and walk right up to her, put my arms on the horse's head and lean in, smiling that really really toothy-type smile.  "Yes, I do take my job seriously.  We've never had an accident here, and it's my job to make sure that continues.  Asking people to stay seated is part of that job.  Have a nice day."  Turn on heel, walk away.  Smile.

Oh, and we had a little creature in today as well.  I honestly believe it was a demon in a child's body...but who knows how much difference there is sometimes.  This one was about 9, unattended, and obnoxious.  One of those that makes you want to kill those who bred her, you know?  Anyway, this little hellspawn proceeds to throw her stuffed dog off the moving carousel several times, swing off the ponies, refuse to cooperate with me when I tightened her belt, throw her jacket on to my head, yell, scream, and fucking lick my arm when I went to check her belt again.  It was that moment that I snapped and turned in to the Carousel Dragon.  Snarling that being annoying was not, in fact, going to get her rewarded with anything besides immediate removal from the carousel shut her up...for a few minutes.  At least...it worked until she stole the brass ring from the bucket.  Good lord.  I hate my job so much.  And yes, immediately after work, I started looking for a new one.  I'm done, and have had enough of this.  No more kids, perhaps not even ones of my own.  Anything to keep me from becoming one of the demon parents, and my own spawn from being a horrorstory kid.

Oh, and to top it off...people who are supposed to be my friends are, in theory, people who want to hang out with me, right?  So...why did I sit at home all weekend, except when at work, after I asked people to call and let me know when things happened?  And happen they did, as I found out today.  Fuck.  You.  All.  Oh, and especially fuck that little blonde-headed growth that seems to have become attached to my boys.  Vapid little beast...and penis-led savages who drool after her.

Eh.  I think I'm going to do something drastic and fun.  Why?  Because I can.

I went to sparknotes' literature section and wrote down all the books I've read!

(stolen from Gucci and Rhonda)

 

( Bookbookbook... )

Louise Erdrich is noticeably absent from their list.  This disappoints me.

We (the terrible Jon-Pattie-Meg trio) went up to Derek's house tonight, sat on the roof, and watched the aurora borealis dance. There was one huge arc of misty white light from the eastern to western horizon, right above our heads, and it positively shimmered. We watched it expand, break, contract, and most impressively, wave across the sky. Jon got a few pictures of more activity (vertical curtains of more of a greenish tint) right over the city, so here's hoping they come out. I'd have to say the aurora borealis is one of, if not the, coolest phenomenon nature has to offer. This was the second most impressive display I've ever seen, the first being a massive red blaze almost all the way up the sky that I saw in Yellowstone one year.

Oh, and I have some new acapella music. ^.^

This just makes me cry...

http://www.missoulian.com/specials/lostboys/

Pierc-ed again!  Whee!  Next up, another cartilage or two on this ear.

:) Well, that last bit makes me smile, at least!

01. Buy everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swim with wild dolphins
03. Climb a mountain
04. Take a Ferrari for a test drive
05. See the Pyramids at night
06. Hold a tarantula
07. Take a candlelit bath with someone
08. Say 'I love you' and mean it
09. Hug a tree
10. Do a striptease
11. Do a bungee or parachute jump
12. Visit Paris
13. Watch a lightning storm at sea
14. Clean behind the fridge
15. Stay up all night long and watch the sun rise
16. Ask the question you've always been too embarrassed to ask
17. See the Northern Lights
18. Go to a huge sports game
19. Create your own masterpiece
20. Grow and eat your own vegetables
21. Touch an iceberg
22. Have an office relationship
23. Sleep under the stars
24. Compromise
25. Change a baby's diaper
26. Take a trip in a hot air balloon
27. Watch a meteor shower
28. Get drunk on champagne
29. Take a luxury holiday
30. Give more than you can afford to charity
31. Look up at the night sky through a telescope
33. Have an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
32. Have a food fight
34. Bet on a winning horse
35. Take a sick day when you're not ill
36. Get a pet
37. Ask a stranger out
38. Have a snowball fight
39. Photocopy your bottom on the office photocopier
40. Scream as loudly as you possibly can
41. Hold a lamb and see them being born
42. Enact a favorite fantasy (sexual)
43. Take a midnight skinny dip
44. Heard the words 'I love you'
45. Fly on Concorde
46. Take an ice cold bath
47. Have a meaningful conversation with a beggar
48. See a total eclipse
49. Ride a rollercoaster
50. Hit a home run

Lesson of the day:

Don't download porn on to your grandparents' computer. Your cousin's mischevious friends might replace it with gay porn.

...not that I'd ever do something as horrible as mess with someone's porn collection, nope, not me!

So, yeah...I had my first day on the job today and it was grand. Yes, it was on the fourth, but whatever. Barely anyone showed up, and I was okay with that. I learned how to jump on and off the moving carousel (that's harder than it seems, and my scraped-up hands are proof!) and various other more-important, less-fun things. But yeah, that's most of my job, wasting time by jumping on the carousel and riding it around. I did, however, get to actually operate the thing today. It really wasn't that difficult, just stomp on the little pedal and push the button, but that particular job comes with a microphone. A microphone. All shall listen to ME BWAHAHAHA!!!

...

Anyway, job is fun, co-workers seem to be fun, and I'm getting money. W00t. Oh, and the carousel horses are simply gorgeous.

Colin! Would it be possible to get a bit more Buckethead from you in the next few days? Please?

(x) I Have Been Drunk
( ) I Have Smoked Pot
(x) I Have Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
(x) I Have Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
( ) I Crashed A Friend's Car
( ) I Have Been To Japan
(x) I Rode In A Taxi
( ) I Had Anal Sex
(x) I Have Been In Love
( ) I Have Had Sex In Public
(x) I Have Been Dumped
( ) I Have Done Cocaine
( ) I Shoplifted
( ) I Have Been Fired
( ) I have Been In A Fist Fight
( ) I Had group intercourse
(x) I Snuck Out Of My Parent's House
(x) I Have Been Tied Up
( ) I Have Been Caught Masturbating
( ) I Pissed On Myself
( ) I Had Sex With A Member Of The Same Sex
( ) I have Been Arrested
(x) I Made Out With A Stranger
(x) I Stole Something From My Job
( ) I Celebrated New Years In Time Square
( ) I Went On A Blind Date
(x) I Lied To A Friend
(x) I Had A Crush On A Teacher
( ) I Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans
( ) I've Been To Europe
(x) I Skipped School
( ) I Slept With A Co-Worker
( ) I Cut Myself On Purpose
( ) I Had Sex At The Office
( ) I Have Been Married
( ) I Have Been Divorced
( ) I Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
(x) I Have Posed Nude
( ) I Got Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
( ) I Have Killed Someone
( ) I Received Scars From My Sex Partner
( ) I've Thrown Up In A Bar
( ) I Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
(x) I Have Eaten Sushi
( ) I Have Been Snowboarding
( ) I Have Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party
( ) I Have Had Sex In A Dressing Room
( ) I Have Flashed Some one
( ) I Have Hooked Up with a Friend's Sibling
( ) I Have Purchased Pornography
(x) I have worn rubber or PVC clothing

Yes, that's right, Supreme Slacker Pattie has finally become gainfully employed. All shout halleluiah, for this has been a long time coming. All hail the newest employee of A Carousel For Missoula! *dances with glee*

There is a downside, though, and that is the fact that I'll be hauling Tropical-Sno-encrusted children on and off brightly colored horses all day. However, it is money that I so desperately need, so I can't complain too much.

For an hour tonight, I had a cat.  A little grey one with white feet, named Zot.  I opened the door to investigate a noise, and there he was, looking up at me and murrrr-ing...I melted from the cuteness.  Sadly, shortly after he showed up on my doorstep, his owners also showed up, drawn by the "Found Cat" poster on my door, to whisk my cute little kitten off.  Boo.  I did, however, get a picture of my temporary fuzzy-friend.  Behold!

First Date: Winter Formal junior year
First Job: Courier/filing for my parents' business
First Screenname: "artbug"
First Album/CD: Seal (1994)
First Piercing/Tattoo: My earlobes, age 10
First Enemy: Laurie Booth, second grade. I told her I was glad she wasn't invited somewhere, and she hated me for it.
First Big Trip: Disneyland, age 3
First Detention: 6th grade, with my entire health class, for smarting off to the teacher.
First Time Dyeing My Hair: Highlights, after junior year.
First Formal Dance: Winter Formal, freshman year. I sat there and waited for one guy to ask me to dance through ALL the slow songs. It sucked.
First Time Breaking A Bone: Never!
First Time Getting Really Sick: First that I remember? When my jaw puffed up and got infected...I had a fever of 102 and had to get large antibiotic injections.
First Hangover: The morning after Post-Apocolyptic Party Night. Goddamn tequila...

LAST:
Last Cigarette: Never
Last Cuss Word Uttered: Shit?
Last Compliment: "You're wonderful" to Jon
Last time you've been single: Oh my god...technically it was January 2003 for a few weeks, but really it was December 2001.
Last Good Cry: Sometime in March, I think. I'm due for one.
Last Phone Call: Meg. Who else?
Last Thing Written: A caustically bitchy post in Sinfest.
Last Time Showered: This morning/afternoon.
Last Person That You Saw Naked Besides You: My boy, obviously.
Last Ice Cream Eaten: Haagen-Dazs bar of a few days ago.
Last Song You Heard: Orgy - Chasing Sirens
Last Formal Dance: CS40 formal in December.
Last Piercing/Tattoo: My second lobe-holes.
Last Birthday Celebrated: My last one was 19...last friend's was...uh...oh, now I feel bad. :P

( Survey )

radioeyes84's LJ stalker is misteribis!

misteribis is stalking you because they think you are the one who made anonymous abusive LJ comments. They are also leaving anonymous abuse on your journal!

Best newspaper headline ever:

"Armed man in bulldozer goes on rampage"

3 days!